TOS

So, i got here to texas the other day. And we started lifeguard training yesterday. It went well until we actually had to go in the water. Didn’t work out so well for me. I quit after one lap. I defenitly could have done more, but, I knew I would just not be able to finish all 11. Am I bummed. 100%. Kind of annoyed and frustrated too. Much has to do with the circumstances. But when it comes down to it, I just can’t swim. And it’s not really my ability to swim, but more my need for air. I wouldn’t consider myself out of shape, but restricted breathing really gets to me. I can’t do it.

All my life i have people tell me i can’t do stuff. or i shouldn’t do stuff. i’m too weak, i’m too short, i’m too small. And i hate it. I always do it anyway. So, i prove myself. But, now, here we are… the first task, and i can’t complete it! What will they think of me? I feel like I’ve failed. I’ve let it control me. I should have done better. I could have done better. I need to do better! why?!

I can’t really write more. Lunch is over.

———-

We had a walmart run today to pick up some stuff for the season… That was THE longest walmart trip i have EVER done. two and a half hours… MY GOODNESS. i am so tired, and my feet hurt, and i am so glad to be out of that place.

But, that’s pretty much all we did today. and i am now ready for a nap.

We got our roomamate assignments today. I’m with Michelle. She reminds me so much of Wicks. But, just like looks, demeanor, and voice sound… but, defentily not the verbal dumping. She’s cool, though. I think it will go ok.

~ by lavidadeyo on 14 August 2008.