Sigh!
Much has happened lately. The other week, I found out my grandfather’s last surviving sibling died. Granted, he was “old,” it hit my family pretty hard. Not really sure how it is affecting my mom, as she hasn’t really said anything to me about it. but, I know it is taking a toll on grandpa. To make matters worse, his (g’pa’s brother’s) grandson then commited suicide. … how does all this affect me? It doesn’t… with the exception of these people are family…. BLOOD, no matter how well I know them, or even OF them for that matter. It is affecting my family.
Days are still hard for me. Sometimes I wake up and wonder what my purpose is. I have so much to do in one day, that I often leave out the things that I NEED to do in order to keep myself moving and appear happy. I have so many struggles and burdens that are simply wearing on me right now. I need a break.
In contrast to my last post… The other day, I told some people about my dream of having kids that had been put up for adoption. The conversationed turned into my not wanting to have kids. well, then the statement of “she doesn’t want to have kids, she just likes practicing.” And I wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that. I guess I lose either way, huh?
